You're rushing to drop the kids at school, fumbling with coats and lunch boxes, when you get the call. Dad has fallen down the stairs, is in the ER and your mom is panicking. She needs you to come home, now.
You want to drop everything. Your heart is racing and you can barely hold back your tears, because "home" is 2,000 miles away, and the last-minute flight, plus the home health aide you'll have to hire, will set you back $1,500 at least. Not to mention that you have a huge presentation to your biggest client this afternoon. All of the sudden, your anxiety level has gone through the roof and you can’t figure out how you will get home, get your kids, not lose your biggest client and manage to pay for the last minute details as a result of the situation.
All I can say, is, welcome, boomer. You're not just part of the sandwich generation - you're part of a triple-decker club with all the trimmings.
And if you feel trapped in the middle, you've got company: According to the Pew Research Center reports, Nearly 10 million boomers are now raising kids or supporting an adult child while giving a financial hand to an aging parent.
We can all relate to this situation and only hope that we are prepared. So let’s consider our own retirement and our own family preparation and protection.
There are so many resources available today, from local programs to national organizations, from books to Web sites, a veritable cottage industry has sprung up to assist you in juggling the demands of raising kids while also caring for aging parents.
Some of these services are a direct response by the government to meet the needs of the country's burgeoning senior ranks - with you, the taxpayer, footing the bill.
Others are the work of smart entrepreneurs who spy a business opportunity. Still others come from fellow boomers wanting to share what they've learned as they've grappled with these issues.
It is important that you consider your choices carefully. Although the situation may have come on suddenly and you feel overwhelmed and uncertain of how you will manage it all, take a deep breath, sit down and review your options.
1. If you have not had these conversations with your parents, now is the time. How are they doing financially and what plans have they made to protect them should be become ill or incapacitated?
2. How is your own personal financial situation? Now is a good time to make certain that your own family is protected, too.
3. Do you have POA? If an emergency situation arises, you will need to have the legal authority to act on your parents behalf. Talk to an attorney about a durable power of attorney, which will authorize you to sign checks, pay bills and make financial decisions on their behalf. You will need a durable power of attorney for health care (healthcare proxy), authorizing you or someone to make medical decisions and also ask about a living will, which will outline their wishes should their be a life-sustaining medical situation. An attorney will also further direct you and your parents with the appropriate planning options.
4. You need to know about your options should a nursing home stay come into the future. Bills for a nursing home, assisted living or in home care are very costly.
5. Before you do see an attorney, gather all of the policies that your parents may have as it relates to insurance. Do they have long term care insurance?
6. Talk to your parents about all of their issues, concerns, wishes. What do they want to happen? Faced with reality, where do they want to live? How do they wish to be cared for? Are there things that they wish to happen? What do they want to avoid?
7. Plan to protect them, and your own family. This is a great time to ensure that you do not leave your own children in a similar position. Planning in advance is the best option.
Serena Brock
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